Politically Incorrect Read online

  Table of Contents

  Copyright Page

  Title Page

  chapter ONE

  chapter TWO

  chapter THREE

  chapter FOUR

  chapter FIVE

  chapter SIX

  chapter SEVEN

  chapter EIGHT

  chapter NINE

  chapter TEN

  chapter ELEVEN

  chapter TWELVE

  chapter THIRTEEN

  chapter FOURTEEN

  chapter FIFTEEN

  chapter SIXTEEN

  chapter SEVENTEEN

  chapter EIGHTEEN

  Teaser chapter

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  PROLOGUE

  Posted by: Natalie Subject: Oh. My. GAWD!

  Guys, you’ll never guess who I just saw on Nightly News! (Brief sidebar—my mom thinks discussing current events after thirty minutes of Katie Couric will somehow prep me for when I take the SAT, like, a million years from now.) Our very own Dr. Steve! Apparently Camp Walla Walla is one of the first camps to “go green,” and he is planning this amazing festival to open the summer season.

  I know, some of you might be thinking, “Um . . . so what?” or “Natalie, do you have brain freeze again?” But wait . . . it gets better!!!

  The president—as in the president of OUR COUNTRY—is sending his daughter, Tricia, to Camp Walla Walla for a week! Since he was billed as “the first green president” during his reelection campaign, he wants his daughter to participate in the festival. Isn’t that INSANE?! And think about it—Tricia is our age, so we could be sharing a bunk with the daughter of the leader of the free world! I don’t think I’ve been this excited about camp in the history of forever. Only two more days to go! =)

  Ugh. Katie Couric just signed off and now my mom is preparing index cards. Ha! JK!

  Anyway, I’ll sign back on later. Bye!

  PS: Can we convince Dr. Steve to get a stylist? His favorite hat looked pretty ratty on TV.

  Posted by: Jenna Subject: The prez’s daughter? Fo realz?

  Seriously?! The president’s daughter is going to be at Camp Walla Walla?! You better not be pranking us, Nat. That’s my job! Tee-hee.

  Posted by: Chelsea Subject: The reports are all true!

  My parents saw the segment on the news, too! Every time I see Tricia on TV, she looks amazing. Great designer clothes. Flawless makeup. Precious mini Cavadoodle in her oversized purse. Love it!

  Posted by: Sarah Subject: Question

  Do you think Tricia’s bodyguard will have to share a bunk with us, too? That could be weird.

  Posted by: Sloan Subject: Facts about the First Daughter

  I Googled Tricia and here’s what I found out:

  1. Her favorite food is seedless red grapes.

  2. She speaks three languages.

  3. The name of her Cavadoodle is Paris (after her favorite city in the world).

  4. She does yoga three times a week.

  Wow! I like her already. Can’t wait to see all of you in a few days!

  Posted by: Brynn Subject: American Idol

  Cavadoodle? Yoga? Speaks three languages? I’m impressed! Not too fond of red grapes, though. I mean, isn’t everyone’s favorite food pizza? Just sayin’.

  Posted by: Natalie Subject: Can’t wait

  Here’s to another great year at camp! See you all on Sunday. Yippee!!!!

  Posted by: Avery Subject: Of all summers . . .

  I can’t believe my stepmother chose this one to have a baby. You know what else I can’t believe? That I suddenly decided that it was important to do the right thing and chose to stay home and help her with it. I mean, with him. To help her with him I mean. So I hope you all enjoy your glamorous presidential summer without me and I’ll think of you as I perfect my diapering skills.

  Posted by: Natalie Subject: Correction

  Make that another great year that’s going to be slightly less great now that Avery isn’t coming . . .

  Say it ain’t so, Ave. I thought we had a good thing going, you and us Lakeview girls. You will be sorely missed.

  chapter ONE

  Late Sunday morning, Natalie Goode dumped two large, purple duffel bags on her camp-issued twin-size bed and wiped her glistening forehead with the back of her hand. Even though she was never big on working up a sweat, she couldn’t have been happier to finally arrive at Camp Walla Walla. Not only was she going to see all of her best friends again, but she’d also have the opportunity to get to know the president of the United States’s daughter at “The Greenest Camp in America.”

  There was truly nothing cooler than that.

  “Only two bags this summer, Nat? You’re definitely slipping.”

  Natalie had been a little gun-shy about smiling since she’d gotten her braces, but she couldn’t stop herself from breaking into a toothy grin at the sound of that familiar voice. She spun around and saw Sloan, decked out in a pair of khaki shorts and a light green T-shirt.

  “Shut up and give me a hug!” Natalie grabbed Sloan and wrapped her arms around her friend.

  “Okay, okay. You’re crushing me,” Sloan said, her cheeks turning pink.

  Natalie laughed and let go. “I’m sorry. I’m just excited to see you!”

  “Sheesh. If that’s how you say hello to me, I’m afraid of what you’re going to do when our celebrity camper arrives,” Sloan joked as she rolled her suitcase over to the bed adjacent to Natalie’s.

  “You’re forgetting who you’re talking to. Celebrities don’t freak me out the way they do everyone else. They’re just average people like you and me.”

  No one was a stranger to the fact that Natalie’s father was mega-movie star Tad Maxwell, but sometimes Natalie felt the need to
remind her friends that she wasn’t a gossip-obsessed famemonger. One day she hoped not to be insecure about her Hollywood roots.

  “How is it possible that I already got stung by a bee?”

  Natalie and Sloan smiled in unison when they saw their friend Chelsea walking into the tent, holding her blond hair back and pointing at her neck. “Is it bad? Don’t lie to me, I can take it.”

  “It’s pretty standard for a bee sting, Chelse. Just red and puffy,” Sloan answered.

  “Well I can’t let the president’s daughter see me this way. She’ll think I’m a complete loser,” Chelsea said with a sigh.

  “Oh stop it. You look great!” Natalie flung her arms around Chelsea and pulled her in close for a hug. “I’ve missed you!”

  Chelsea stared over Natalie’s shoulder at Sloan, confused. “Why is Natalie trying to squeeze me to death?”

  “I haven’t figured that out yet,” Sloan replied, giggling.

  “I’m just psyched to be here, that’s all! Dr. Steve said on TV that the camp has a lot of cool new features, and this festival he mentioned sounds awesome, and there’s a chance that the president’s daughter will be staying in our bunk, and maybe there will be a lot of new boys this year.” Natalie paused for a second to catch her breath. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

  “Yes, you are. Now release me from your choke hold so I can breathe,” Chelsea croaked.

  Natalie chuckled as Chelsea wiggled out of their embrace. “I can’t wait to see everyone at orientation.”

  Sloan glanced at her watch. “Won’t be long now. Dr. Steve’s expecting us all at the new rotunda building at noon.”

  “I heard it’s powered by solar panels on the roof,” Natalie said.

  “Do they still have calamine lotion at the infirmary? Because I am in desperate need of some,” Chelsea said, scratching at her neck.

  “If they do, I bet it’s organic,” Sloan said, smirking.

  Natalie was buzzing with such excitement that she couldn’t sit still at the orientation meeting. She was surrounded by more of her good friends—Jenna, Priya, Brynn, Joanna, and Sarah, who were all in her bunk this summer—and the new rotunda building was absolutely amazing. The solar panels on the ceiling were made of a translucent material, so everyone could look up and gaze at the white, puffy clouds that were moving slowly through the perfectly blue sky.

  “I wish Dr. Steve would get on with the show. We have so much catching up to do,” said Priya.

  “Never mind catching up! Has anyone seen Tricia yet?” Chelsea said, her head pivoting back and forth as she checked out the crowd.

  “Nope, not me,” replied Sarah.

  “I haven’t, either,” Brynn chimed in.

  “Maybe she’s in disguise!” Priya suggested.

  Natalie giggled with the rest of the girls.

  Priya crossed her arms over her chest. “Don’t laugh. I saw it in a movie once.”

  “Whoa, check out the eye candy over there,” Joanna said, pointing to a spot a few rows ahead of them.

  Natalie peered over the heads of the group in front of her and glanced at a posse of boys sitting to the left of them. A very good-looking, brown-haired, olive-skinned boy who she had never seen before was talking with David, Connor, and Jordan.

  “Okay, I have to say it,” Sloan said with a wide grin. “Yuuuuum!”

  Just as Natalie and the other girls burst out laughing, Dr. Steve stepped in front of the podium and tapped the microphone a few times to make sure it was on. Then he cleared his throat, causing some feedback to echo throughout the room. Natalie covered her ears and winced.

  Well, that’s one way to get everyone’s attention.

  “Sorry! Didn’t mean for that to happen,” Dr. Steve said in a flustered manner. He nervously ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath. “What I meant to say was, welcome back to Camp Walla Walla, folks!”

  Natalie clapped cheerfully with the rest of the campers as she scanned the crowd a bit more for familiar faces.

  “As one of the greenest camps in America, we are fully equipped to conserve energy by using only natural resources,” Dr. Steve said to the crowd of campers who were all listening intently. “That being said, we’re going to have to implement a few changes to our way of life here, which might take some getting used to.”

  “I don’t like the sound of this,” Chelsea mumbled under her breath.

  Dr. Steve continued. “First of all, we are going to start composting our waste so we can fertilize the soil here naturally. That means there will probably be more slugs and worms hanging around, but don’t worry. They’re an important part of the biodegradable machine!”

  “Ew, gross!” Brynn said.

  “We’ll also be strictly monitoring our water use. Everyone here will only have three minutes to take a shower,” Dr. Steve added.

  Natalie’s eyes widened. Three minutes?! It takes me that long just to condition my hair!

  “And we’re also going to grow a lot of our own produce in our beautiful new vegetable garden,” Dr. Steve continued.

  “All these things are great, but when is he going to talk about Tricia?” Priya whispered into Natalie’s ear.

  “Hopefully soon,” Natalie whispered back. While Natalie thought the vegetable garden sounded pretty cool, some of the other changes at camp weren’t sounding so good, especially the shower thing.

  Dr. Steve went on. “I’m sure you will all be happy to hear that we’ve modified the no computer rule here at camp. We realize that allowing you folks to communicate with your family and friends at home via e-mail will cut down on the use of paper, and a generous parent donated one PC that everyone can share. Isn’t that great?”

  Natalie sighed underneath her breath. “One PC? Well, that works for me, but what’s everyone else going to use?”

  Dr. Steve took a deep breath into the microphone. “I’m also sure the word has spread that the president’s daughter, Tricia, is visiting Camp Walla Walla for a whole week,” he announced.

  At this, all the campers erupted into wild applause. Some girls even jumped out of their chairs, shrieking like crazed fans.

  “All right, settle down,” Dr. Steve said with a chuckle. “I hate to disappoint you, but Tricia is in Vienna with her parents, so she won’t be here until Thursday.”

  The shrieking girls immediately groaned and sat back down in disappointment.

  “We’re all thrilled that she is coming here to spend time with us and speak at the Green Festival, which is an event that we’re holding next Saturday and Sunday in celebration of our new green initiative. And here to tell you about that is one of our new counselors, Jasmine.”

  Dr. Steve stepped away from the podium to let a tall young woman with cocoa-colored skin and brown eyes approach the microphone.

  Jasmine leaned into the microphone. “Hi, campers. I’m super-excited to be here, and I’m especially excited to help with the Green Festival. In a nutshell, the festival is all about honoring nature, and there’s no better way to do that than by asking our local community to join us here for two days of organic food, games, and all sorts of family fun.”

  Natalie turned to Sloan and saw a wide smile form on her friend’s face. This was just the kind of New Agey thing that Sloan lived for.

  “Of course, there will be a lot of planning involved, so Dr. Steve and I are forming a committee to oversee the event. And the committee will need a chairperson to lead them in the right direction.”

  Now it was Natalie’s turn to break into a big, cheesy grin. Even though her mom was a little zany for wanting to prep Natalie for college super early, Natalie couldn’t help but think that this chairperson gig would make her extra desirable to universities down the road. Maybe if she did this job really well, all the Ivy League schools would come knocking at her door. And it didn’t exactly hurt that Nat’s mom had promised her a brand-new iPod touch when she got back if she did anything college-application worthy while she was away.

  Truth be tol
d, Natalie imagined that when the time came, people would assume that she could get into any college she wanted because her father was the famous Tad Maxwell. Natalie was never comfortable with people thinking that she had it so easy. Which was why it was important for her achievements to be her own. This chairperson gig seemed like just the thing.

  “Dr. Steve and I have no doubt there will be a lot of interest in the chairperson position, so we’d like those of you who want to be considered to write an essay on what ‘going green’ means to you. The camper with the best essay will get the spot,” Jasmine explained.

  Natalie’s smile vanished instantly.

  Me? Write an essay?

  She could feel her face growing hot and her palms getting sticky. While she consistently maintained an A average, written expression had always been her one trouble spot. So much for Green Festival Chairperson.

  “Good luck, everyone,” Jasmine said before switching places again with Dr. Steve.

  Yeah, luck isn’t going to help me, Natalie thought, her hopes of Ivy League colleges and new technology dwindling in her mind.

  “That pretty much covers the big announcements,” Dr. Steve said when he returned to the podium. “Now let’s start having an unforgettable summer!”

  chapter TWO

  Chelsea hated rainy days at camp, especially early in the season. Thankfully, her friends knew exactly how to turn a Monday afternoon rest period indoors into a Friday night slumber party. Jenna had hooked up her MP3 player to some minispeakers and Natalie had dumped the contents of her overstuffed duffel bags in the center of the room so all of the girls could try her clothes on.

  “I wish Tricia were here to see how much fun we can all be,” Brynn said as she applied some of Natalie’s fire-engine red lip gloss to her lips.

  “Tricia’s in Vienna, Brynn. Camp Walla Walla is cool and all, but I’m sure it’s going to seem rather hokey to someone as sophisticated as she is,” Joanna answered.